Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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