So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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