I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
