I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
