The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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