I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You can't motorboat a personality
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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