Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
