And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
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