he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
