is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
