The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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