If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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