I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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