I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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