who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
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