You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
