Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
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