I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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