Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
