all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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