my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
