dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
