Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
