So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize