Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
