I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
