this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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