thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize