OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The air was thick with penises
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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