but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize