yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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