That's intense
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
