Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
