boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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