All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
