i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
