My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
