How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
