y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
