not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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