It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
