For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
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