I puked a lego.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
