I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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