Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
