if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
