First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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