Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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