do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
