you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
