Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
