We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
