in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
