it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
