if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
