I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize