Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
