Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Randomize
