he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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